Being a new, unexpected mom, I didn’t know a lot about pregnancy other than that it was sometimes a wonderful experience, totally easy and made your skin glow, and other times morning sickness occurred the whole time, your broke out, and you looked like shit, and sometimes in between.
When we found out I was pregnant, I got lots of tips and advice. Mainly how tired I will be, how I need to watch what I eat and make sure I eat enough protein/fiber, how I’ll probably get constipated, crackers are good for morning sickness and a flat soda, etc. All the basics. No one really got into the nitty gritty, until I mentioned it and they were all, “Ooohhh yeahhh, that’s normal too,” acting like a forewarning wasn’t a nice thing to give me.
So, here is a list for all the other new, unexpected moms out there who may (and hopefully will) come across this. I kind of like learning things first hand, because I love telling my experiences and being able to help others, but still… a forewarning would have been nice.
10 Things People Forgot To Mention About PREGNANCY
1. Horrible, stinky, sewer-smelling, cramping, constant FARTS. All day. Every day. At awkward, quiet moments. In elevators. When you finally get comfy and cuddled right up against your significant other and have to move because you don’t want to fart on them. Around your in-laws. Around friends who aren’t super close friends so it would be a little weird to just admit to it and try to laugh it off, even though they know you did it because, well, they know they didn’t do it. ANYWHERE. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE IT. Until around 11 or 12 weeks, possibly. That’s when it stopped for me – now it’s just occasional.
2. Lost of vaginal discharge. All the time. I feel so gross. I’ve started keeping baby wipes at the toilet and I’m carrying some in my purse for when we go out.
3. I’m not more tired than usual or fatigued – I’m practicing hibernation. The bears are gonna be soooo jealous when they hear what I’m up to. 1 nap a day? Pshhh, sometimes I take 2. Lawd help everyone if I don’t get my nap.
4. Baby isn’t here yet, but I still can’t sleep well. For a while, no matter WHAT time I went to sleep, be it 12am or 5am, I would wake up around 9:30am every single morning. Also, no matter how tired I was, I would roll around in bed, toss and turn, yawning, begging for sleep… and then 3 hours later, I’d finally just pass out. Real, just plain old good sleep, is a rarity already. I know it won’t compare to when the baby is here… but c’mon body, at least give me a little bit of a break!
5. “Don’t be afraid to ask silly questions!” Such a lie. Definitely be weary. Just Google it or if you’re patient enough, save it for your OB/GYN who probably deals with people way more stupid than you every day. Apparently when you ask the average person a question about pregnancy, you appear naive, immature, and overly excited about being pregnant. Like I said – Just Google it.
6. “You’ll probably be a little constipated.” Also a lie. Gonna be super honest here: not taking a poo for NINE DAYS is not a little constipated. It’s not even really constipated. It’s the next level above extremely constipated.
7. Bless you! You’re probably sneezing your head off, right? That’s all I know how to do. And I am either going to bed or waking up with a stuffy nose. Apparently, pregnancy makes your sinuses swell.
8. Sex drive? What is that? I don’t know if I have ever heard of that…
9. Those annoying little pains you get when you cough, laugh, or strain are normal nuisances you’ll have to deal with after your 2nd trimester. They’re called round ligament pain. It happens because the muscles around your uterus are stretching to prepare for your growing baby.
10. Some days, I eat EVERYTHING. Pizza? Heck yeah! Pre-preg I didn’t like pizza, maybe once a year or so. Same thing with McDonald’s cheeseburgers. Pregnant Autumn wants pizza and Mickey D.’s cheeseburgers all the time. Along with everything else in the cabinets and lazy suzan. Peanut butter? Break that stuff out! Just eat it with a spoon. Oh, those pickles look awesome. Strawberries, mmmm. Barbecue chips ohmygod. And then other days, I’ll take two bites of something and not want to eat for the rest of the day because I feel so full.
There you have it. My (probably first of a few) list of things people forgot to mention about pregnancy. Hopefully some new mom-to-be out there like me sees this before it’s too late! 😉